Thursday, February 26, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The Young And The People Who Watch Soap Operas
I tend to pride myself on being a free-thinker, someone who goes against the grain. Fads don't appeal to me, my personal sociological currencies are completely different from most people (theirs: money, sexual appeal, fame. mine: art, knowledge, the soul, storytelling abilities, talents). And I tend to surround myself with friends who are not in the mainstream, even if they are not particularly free-thinking. So, when I come into contact with people on the grid, (must I explain the grid?) on a personal level, it's usually a shock to my system, because I'm not used to dealing with conformists under the age of 40. Examples:
1) Last Thursday: it was a day of macabre celebration, the year anniversary of Assassins being canceled. My friends and I were in the fourth floor lobby of Caraway, preparing to make crepes and settle in to watch the DVD recording of the show. At first there was a bible study going on, so we were quiet and respectful, and waited for them to break up so that we could commandeer the television and be as loud as we wanted. What we didn't bargain for was Hall Government pulling rank and invading the lobby, sending a representative to tell Ian and I that they needed the television free because they were going to watch a video. We figured this had to be something important, so we relented. We waited for them to finish, while taking futile attempts to listen to the first song of the show. These so-called elected leaders of the dorm were loud, they were gossipy, none of the points that were made during the meeting really had any merit to anyone in the dorm except them, and then came the kicker. We waited for half an hour, in expectation, for this sacred video of instruction or leadership to be produced and watched in glorious awe. It was a fucking exercise video. Which no one in the group seemed to be taking seriously, and everyone kind of just half-assed, just for the sake of joining in. Seriously? Seriously! I watched the proceedings carefully, as a biologist would wander into the woods and watch the behavior of a herd of wildebeests. I noticed my friend Ian was watching also, with the same look of disgust as mine, so I leaned in and said something along the lines of "Um... you know, this isn't real leadership. People who are real leaders would not be at this meeting. They would boycott it, or start a riot. They would have more important things to do than cackle and shake their asses." When they finally left, I felt a relief I hadn't felt in quite some time.
2) This past Sunday night/Monday morning: Micah and I were hanging out in my bedroom, in my apartment. My roommates and their friends were trashed in the living room. Loud hiphop and country music, lots of yelling and running around. Lots of drama. There usually shouldn't be anything wrong with this, it's what people do when they drink. Not really, intelligent people seem to scream less and not throw girls into a shower for shits and giggles. But, this is me. The same feeling of watching wildebeests came back with a vengeance. And Micah seemed more agitated than I was. Why? Because we've both seen our share of parties. Not everyone acts that ridiculously. *sigh*
1) Last Thursday: it was a day of macabre celebration, the year anniversary of Assassins being canceled. My friends and I were in the fourth floor lobby of Caraway, preparing to make crepes and settle in to watch the DVD recording of the show. At first there was a bible study going on, so we were quiet and respectful, and waited for them to break up so that we could commandeer the television and be as loud as we wanted. What we didn't bargain for was Hall Government pulling rank and invading the lobby, sending a representative to tell Ian and I that they needed the television free because they were going to watch a video. We figured this had to be something important, so we relented. We waited for them to finish, while taking futile attempts to listen to the first song of the show. These so-called elected leaders of the dorm were loud, they were gossipy, none of the points that were made during the meeting really had any merit to anyone in the dorm except them, and then came the kicker. We waited for half an hour, in expectation, for this sacred video of instruction or leadership to be produced and watched in glorious awe. It was a fucking exercise video. Which no one in the group seemed to be taking seriously, and everyone kind of just half-assed, just for the sake of joining in. Seriously? Seriously! I watched the proceedings carefully, as a biologist would wander into the woods and watch the behavior of a herd of wildebeests. I noticed my friend Ian was watching also, with the same look of disgust as mine, so I leaned in and said something along the lines of "Um... you know, this isn't real leadership. People who are real leaders would not be at this meeting. They would boycott it, or start a riot. They would have more important things to do than cackle and shake their asses." When they finally left, I felt a relief I hadn't felt in quite some time.
2) This past Sunday night/Monday morning: Micah and I were hanging out in my bedroom, in my apartment. My roommates and their friends were trashed in the living room. Loud hiphop and country music, lots of yelling and running around. Lots of drama. There usually shouldn't be anything wrong with this, it's what people do when they drink. Not really, intelligent people seem to scream less and not throw girls into a shower for shits and giggles. But, this is me. The same feeling of watching wildebeests came back with a vengeance. And Micah seemed more agitated than I was. Why? Because we've both seen our share of parties. Not everyone acts that ridiculously. *sigh*
Seductress in Training.
I completely forgot this blog existed. I made up something about "seductress in training" about two years ago, posted, then walked away. This was back in the days when I, well, actually was a seductress in training. Then I got an email from some company wanting to know if I they could help me make money from this blog. Odd. Ten people in the past week have traveled to this site, in the hopes that they would find some wanton, moaning sex goddess. Well, you have found her. But she's not what you expect. I don't sell my sexuality, I own it. I am the embodiment of the sensual underbelly. I had an epiphany last night while in bed with my love interest. We had spent hours taunting each other with sex, but holding back. Neither one of us could let go because of something I had said a few days before, about being careful with sex because it was dangerous and the relationship we were building might become nothing more, being that we are both very passionate, sexual, individuals. But, in the midst of finally being naked beneath him, I realized that the problem isn't the sex, no matter how amazing it is. It's about my attitude towards it. I have been learning sex as the seductress, learning tricks to drive mere mortal men insane with lust. But I was detached from the actual experience. Now, I am experiencing sex from somewhere completely different. This time as a lover, as the beautiful, almost spiritual combining of flesh that I am partaking in, but somehow feeling ashamed to be craving. But there's no reason to feel that way.
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